Not all who wonder are lost.. but maybe when lost we wander to the places and people we need most to help us remember we are not in fact lost or wandering alone. When we wander it is to gather pieces of us that make us feel whole and unbroken.
I broke a mirror the other day.. shreds of glass scattered all over my floor. So many different pieces that once made it whole misplaced.. forever separated from the unity that once existed. So much symbolism in a ordinary life occurrence that happens to most of us. When cleaning up the mess..I found beauty in each intricately severed fragment.. the light from my room hit each piece and reflected off each piece in a different way. Accidents happen daily..unplanned life much like a broken mirror can leave us in pieces that cannot form what once was. The pieces of us and our lives land with no plan.. there is no rhyme or reason to where they fall and scatter. We find ourselves in a frenzy to clean up the mess..get frazzled with making sure we get each and every piece.. hoping with the cleanup we don’t make the situation worse or even hurt ourselves more.
We all have endured countless broken mirrors in life.. pieces of ourselves scattered in places we have yet even to find. But many pieces we are able to find in people and places that make us whole again. When lost we wander..we set out to find what makes us feel whole. We embark on a quest to gather what remains to make us feel as we once did before the breaks. Like tiny fragments of light our pieces shine in those we find our way too. And those we seek out help to reflect light back to the pieces of ourselves that still remain..when broken I find myself in the same people and places I wander too when lost.
That same day I broke the mirror.. I found myself at the gym..I have to push hard to get there every time.. but I know what piece of me I will find while there.. and I know when feeling a little lost and off the path.. I have to wander to this point. It is no secret I hurt.. that is a feeling that I have come to accept about life now..I am exhausted from the moment I wake until I try to go to bed…but right around mile 2 something happens…my body shoots off every message to my brain to say.. okay enough.. time to stop… my brain even starts to agree.. and for a split second I almost call it quits. But then a piece of me resurfaces..and I push through the pain and the fatigue and keep going.. it is almost a high to realize you still have that control over your body and of your mind..I instantly in this moment remember I am stronger then the notion to quit and give up.. I will hit my mark and even raise it higher.. not bc I have too..but bc I need too..I need this piece of me.. this piece to fuel other moments just like these.. I need this reminder.. this light reflecting fragment to see who I am and just what I am capable of. That is one piece of me I have always loved..and that is one place I can always find it..even if it only lasts for the rest of my workout..it is comforting to realize that piece of me still exists..it is healing to remember that part of me.. even if I can only find it there in those moments of triumph.
When a mirror is whole it is easier to see yourself.. it is easier to see the image in front of you in a more desirable light..when broken the image gets distorted and skewed..and that is when you need to find the broken pieces of you in others.. they don’t see the cracks in the glass or the harsh sharp edges and dislodged fragments.. they still see the whole reflection and even if they see the breaks they also see the light that shines through them. So when lost.. when frazzled with trying to pick up the pieces of life.. don’t lose yourself in the mess.. wander to the places and people who already see you and who hold those pieces you so desperately are trying to mend back together. The pieces are there..when you feel as if you have lost them.. find your way to you. Whether broken or whole.. what was still exists..it may not be perfectly put together anymore..it may not reflect what you once saw..but there is beauty in each tiny fragment of you..and there is beauty in the places and people who help you remember you are not lost and never will be as long as they hold those pieces of you.